Parenting is a continuum. On the one end, there are parents too busy with their lives and don’t spend a lot of time with their children. While, on the other end, there are parents who are over-protective and micro-manage their children.

How involved should parents be in their child’s life? The best thing is to take a balanced approach and adopt the middle path. In this article learn the difference between parenting vs over-parenting and a better approach to raising successful children.

What is Over-Parenting?

Over-parenting involves constantly hovering over your child to ensure they are making good decisions and preventing them from facing the consequences of their behavior. Such constant over-shadowing can be detrimental to the child’s development.

Here are some signs that you are overparenting your child:

  • Frequent power struggles over little things
  • You don’t let your child make their own Choices
  • You can’t stand to see your child fail
  • Over-anxiety about Trivial Issues
  • Helicopter Parenting or Arguing with Other Adults over how to Treat Your Children
  • Unable to identify age-appropriate expectations
  • You don’t give your child any responsibilities

Parenting vs Over-Parenting   – The Better Approach for Parenting

It’s important to nurture your child in a way that allows them to explore their freedom healthily. Here are some quick pointers to help you maintain a balanced approach and prepare your children to become responsible adults:

  1. Say No to a Check-listed Childhood

Your child is not a means for you to accomplish your unfulfilled desires and aspirations. They should never be thrust with a truckload of items to be checked off in a pre-formulated bucket list. Instead, let them explore what they like to do best and help them to excel in their chosen field.

  1. Don’t Overly Focus on Grades, Scores, and Marks

As the world is getting competitive by the day, most parents feel coerced to push their children to excel in every field. Getting into a top-ranking college is the ultimate aim for many.

The first thing that we always ask as parents when children get back home is about their homework and grades, instead of asking them how was their day. This puts an unnecessary burden on the child to put more effort until they feel burned out. No wonder social anxiety, depression, and stress are becoming common amongst children.

  1. Build Self-Efficacy

At times parents tend to go the extra mile by hand-holding, overhelping, overprotecting that there is no chance for the kids to evolve through their own choices. Self-efficacy is an important factor in the human psyche more than self-esteem. Self-efficacy can only be built if you let that child stand on their own legs – thinking, planning, deciding, doing, hoping, coping, trial and error, dreaming and experiencing life for themselves.

  1. Support Not Dictate

This does not mean there should be no parental involvement at all and you should simply back off. It is important to provide the basic foundation for the child to build habits, mindset, skillset, and wellness to be successful wherever they go and whatever they do. Parents should be the support system for children under all circumstances and offer secure attachment that help them turn out to be sensitive individuals.

  1. Involve Children in Daily Chores

The longest longitudinal study of humans ever conducted is called the Harvard Grant Study. It found that professional success in life comes from having done chores as a kid. The earlier you started, the better it is for children to develop a can-do attitude without being dependent on someone.

Nurture Children with Unconditional Love

Instead of being over-obsessed with grades, scores, getting into a top college all the time, pay attention to your children and provide them with unconditional love. After all, the most successful people of this era did not pass out of a top-ranking college, studied in a small college or even flunked out. Don’t let them live their childhood according to a cruel checklist. Equip your children with life skills that help them thrive on their own volition, fueled by their own desires and capabilities. Now, that’s what we call successful parenting!